Learning the meaning of Love
by harrysnapey
Summary: Snape becomes Harry's Guardian. Will he learn to love Harry, or will his hatred continue? starts in book 1 Will contain corporal punishment - I do not condone this, I just feel Snape would be the type of person to use it. DON'T LIKE DON'T READ. no flames please.
1. Chapter 1

**CHAPTER ONE**

Severus was just settling down for the evening with a warm mug of tea and a thick potions book, when an owl tapped on his window. Grumbling, he ripped the window open and snatched the letter from the bird, not even thanking it as he tore the scroll open. It was a request from Dumbledore, to meet him in his office immediately. Growling, Snape stalked into his bedroom and got dressed, his mind playing back the scene from earlier…he was sure Dumbledore wanted to talk about that. Again.

_"The boy is out of control!" Severus had yelled at Dumbledore the second they were alone._

_ "He means well Severus." _

_ "ALBUS! HE TOOK ON A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN TROLL!" _

_ "Remarkable boy." Dumbledore smiled, and popped a sherbet lemon in his mouth, his free hand subconsciously stroking his long beard. _

_ "Albus. He should have been punished for risking his life, not given house points."_

_"He did well to rescue his friend."_

_ "He. Could. Have. Died. He needed to be punished, because next time someone needs saving, instead of telling someone he will do exactly what he did tonight. He is eleven years old and knows a few basic spells. If you allow him to carry on like this, the Chosen One will be dead before He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named even makes his return." _

_ And Snape had left, because he could see nothing would persuade Dumbledore that his Golden Boy needed anything other than mollycoddling and being rewarded for stepping out of line._

Now, he stood outside Dumbledore's office at that ridiculous time and resolved that if Dumbledore started on that topic again, he was leaving and going to bed, regardless of the fact that Albus was his boss.

He entered, to find Dumbledore looking pale and strained – a most unusual sight for the relaxed, jovial man.

"Albus, what's the matter?" Snape asked, hurrying to the old man. "Are you hurt?"

"Not badly, Severus. Nothing that isn't already healing," the wizard said, waving a heabily bandaged hand at Snape. "Take a seat."

"What's going on?" Snape asked, sitting down quickly.

"Earlier this evening I was called to the Dursley Residence by an alarm that told me the blood wards had fallen. I had to fight off Lucius Malfoy and another old death eater, and unfortunately in defending the two muggles there, was caught off guard. However, I am fine. They, not so much so. Regrettably they shall not leave St Mungo's for a little while."

"The blood wards fell?" Snape asked. "How? How could this happen Albus?"

"How do you think, Severus?" Dumbledore asked, as he drank deeply from his goblet.

"I…what?"

"Do you think my magic failed?"

"Impossible."

"Then think. Severus. Think."

Severus was silent for a moment as his mind tried to come up with some complex magical idea…and then he realised. The obvious answer had been floating in front of him all along; but he had missed it.

"Petunia's dead." He said flatly, recalling the horrible horse faced girl of his youth.

"She is. She died this morning. She was hit by a hit and run and died on impact. Harry must be told."

"Indeed. Not tonight though. The boy must be worn out after the antics of this evening."

"Yes, not tonight."

"Is that all, headmaster? I presume you wish for me to help you set up some different wards. We must do so before Potter returns over Christmas."

"Harry will have to stay here for Christmas." Dumbledore said gravely.

"Why? Did the house get destroyed?" Snape asked.

"No," Dumbledore said. "It seems that Harry is not welcome in the home any longer. Not that it seems he really was before, but Petunia allowed him to stay on my command. Vernon Dursley, however, is beyond my command. He said some terrible things about the boy. They kept him in the cupboard you know. Under the stairs. They thought he was a freak."

"Oh." Snape said. He'd always thought Potter was a pampered little Prince; and that was why he was so irritating and broke all the rules. Now though, it seemed he didn't keep to the rules because he'd never been parented…just neglected. Put up with. Snape winced…he'd judged too quickly because of who the boy looked like, and he'd been wrong. Damn.

"Indeed."

"So, where is he to go in the summer?" Snape questioned. "The Weasleys? I'd be happy to help you put wards up there, if that is what you require."

"No, Severus, although they did offer when they heard the news."

"Why not, then?" Severus was beginning to feel drowsy, and wonder why he was here when Dumbledore didn't actually seem to require his help with any protective wards.

"Well, Potter is no longer with his family. Which means we consulted the will left behind by the Potters, for their son."

"And?"

"After Sirius Black, you were listed as Godfather."

There was a pause.

"What?!" Snape asked, feeling frantic.

"Lily revised the will the day after it was made. She added you as Godfather, because she felt that if her and James were not around, that could mean that Sirius was not either."

"Who signed as witness?" Snape asked. "Presumably not Potter."

"No. Remus."

"Lupin?"

"I believe he is the only Remus we know."

"So…what does this mean?" Snape asked, with a dreadful feeling that he knew what it meant.

"You will become Harry's guardian." It wasn't even a request. It was a demand.

"Albus, I hate children."

"You'll get over it."

"No." Snape crossed his arms across his chest and shook his head. "I will NOT look after James Potter's son. No way. Too many bad genes for me to deal with."

"Severus." Albus said softly. "Severus. Lily made this decision. Lily decided that if nobody else was there, she wanted you to care for her son. After everything she knew about you, and all the mistakes you made, she still chose you. She believed in you so much that she went behind her husband's back and made a move she knew he would hate, because she thought that you could step up to the task of caring for her son. Severus, he may look like James and he may act a bit like him too. But beneath all of that, beneath the appearance and the disregard for the rules, Mr Potter is a scared little boy, a little boy who spent ten years sleeping in a cupboard, being called a freak and being treated like a servant. He is not James Potter. He's a little boy who hasn't known love since he was one year old."

Severus stared at Albus, stony eyed as it dawned on him that there really was no way of escaping this. Amongst the annoyance and the panic (he didn't know how to look after children! Terrify them, sure. But raise one? Good Lord, no.) his heart was warming. Lily. Lily had chosen him, in the full knowledge that he had turned to Voldemort. She must have known then, that he wouldn't stay allied to the dark if she was gone. She must have had faith in him. Faith, that for once, had not been misplaced. Snape nodded slowly.

"Very well." He said. "Potter will have a Guardian then."

"Severus, you are a good man." Dumbeldore said. "And now, at least, you can give him the guidance you are so sure he needs." The old man smirked, his eyes glittering.

"There is that," Snape agreed, allowing a smile. "I warn you now, Albus, no ward of mine is going to risk his life and get away with it. If I am to be his Guardian, he will have consequences."

"Of course, my boy."

"When will you tell him?" Snape asked, dread filling him as he pictured Potter's reaction. Oh god.

"Tomorrow. I will ask him to meet me after breakfast…it is the weekend after all so he won't miss any school."

"Will you require my presence?" Snape asked. Please, god, no.

"Of course," Albus smiled. "I shall let you go now, you must sleep. Tomorrow may be…difficult."

"Ha. Understatement of the century old man." Snape said as he left the office. It took him a while to go to sleep, and when he did, for the first time in ten years he dreamt of Lily. Lily, smiling at him, thanking him for what he had done, for agreeing to look after her boy.


	2. Chapter 2

**CHAPTER TWO**

Harry was sitting with Ron and Hermione. It was strange to be sitting with Hermione as she usually sat alone with a book...but Harry had decided he actually quite liked her presence because once you got past the know-it-all-ness about her, she was friendly and kind. And of course loyal - she had lied to save them after all. It seemed like a good thing that they had made friends with her, despite Ron's misgivings.

Harry felt like he was being watched and glanced up at the staff table, straight into the cold black eyes of Snape. Harry looked away again, feeling had known they were lying, it was obvious. He wanted them to be punished not given house points - Harry knew now that Snape was going to be worse than ever in an attempt to correct what he must see as a gross injustice. Why did the man hate him so much? And had it really been wrong of them to save Hermione?

"Ron?" Harry asked as he pushed his half eaten breakfast away.

"Yeah mate?" Ron asked whilst shovelling eggs and bacon into his mouth noisily to the clear disapproval of a daintily eating Hermione.

"If your mum knew about last night would she be angry?" Harry wasn't sure what a parent would think - would they agree with McGonogall and reward them for their bravery, or with Snape and punish them from endangering themselves and lying?

"She knows," Ron said darkly, shooting an evil look at Percy. "Mr Perfect sent her an owl."

"And?"

"Off her head. Completely mad." Ron said grumpily.

"Yeah." Fred said from across the table.

"Don't." Ron snapped at him. Fred and George grinned meanly and nudged one another.

"She's so mad Harry..."

"That she's sending Dad in..."

"Today to come and see Ron..."

"And spank his naughty little bottom."

The twins beamed as Ron blushed bright red. Harry looked at Ron in amazement, whilst Hermione just rolled her eyes.

"Oh come ON." She said to the twins. "I bet you've been spanked more times than you can remember. Ignore them Ronald, I bet there's not one person at this table who hasn't been spanked in their life."

The twins pulled an identical face at her before stuffing food into their pockets and leaving.

"I've never been spanked." Harry admitted. He'd just been locked in a cupboard instead. And starved. But never spanked...the Dursleys didn't like to touch him - they thought magic was like a disease which would contaminate them.

"I guess it's different if they aren't your parents?" Ron said, putting his fork down. "I don't feel hungry now they reminded me. Dad's gonna kill my butt. Bloody hell."

"You'll be okay." Hermione said reassuringly. "Don't look now, but why is Snape staring at us?"

"Last night I'll bet." Harry muttered. "He knew we were lying."

"Ah well," Ron said. "Nothing he can do."

Up at the teachers table Snape stopped watching Harry (he had been wondering why the boy had only eaten half his breakfast) and stood up, exiting the Great Hall before Dumbledore, as planned. Five minutes or so later, Albus rose and made his way to the Gryffindor table.

"Harry?" he said quietly. The boy looked up, startled. "May I talk to you please?"

Harry nodded and stood up, trying to ignore his friends confused and worried faces. He followed the old man out of the Great Hall and to his office, where he said the password and they entered. The whole time Harry's stomach was swirling with fear and anticipation...he was in trouble, he was sure of it. Why else would the headmaster want t talk to him?

When Harry saw Snape sitting in one of the chair opposite the desk, he became certain that this sudden meeting was about the troll incident. He swallowed fearfully. Just stick to the story. Everything will be fine. Oh god.

"Take a seat Harry." Dumbledore said gently, indicating the seat by Snape. Without looking at the black bat, Harry perched on the chair.

"Have I done something wrong Professor?" He asked nervously.

"Guilty conscience, Mr Potter?" Snape drawled from next to him. Harry ignored him, his hands clinging to the arms of the chair. Could he be expelled for what had happened? Leave Hogwarts for the Dursleys? Please not that.

"No Harry, not at all." Dumbledore reassured. "I have some bad news Harry. Your aunt...yesterday your aunt died. I am very sorry for your loss."

"Oh." Harry said after a pause.

"Were you close?" Dumbledore asked. Snape was watching the boy intently, his dark eyes focused on his face, reading the signs.

"Not at all," Harry answered softly. "Her and Uncle Vernon resented having to look after me. I'm sorry to say I won't miss her, nor would she expect me to. I am sad for my uncle and cousin though, I expect that are terribly sad."

"Would you like to go to the funeral, Harry?" Dumbledore said after shooting an 'I told you so' look at Snape.

"No thank you sir." Harry replied politely. "She wouldn't have wanted me there. My uncle will be upset enough without having to see me."

"Oh, Harry. I am so sorry your family made you feel that way."

"It's okay sir." Harry said calmly. "I can understand why they did it. I suppose now though Uncle Vernon has said I can't go back."

Albus nodded, a tear in his eye as he thought about how awful the poor little boy must feel inside.

"Can I live with the Weasley's?" Harry asked excitedly, looking happy for the first time since entering the room.

"Sorry Harry, no. We had to follow the instructions laid out in your parents will on what to do if you had no Guardian." Albus said, wincing.

"What did my parents want?" Harry asked, a warm feeling inside that his parents had cared enough to plan ahead for what would happen to him.

"Harry...your mother named...a Godfather for you."

"Oh, cool!" Harry beamed. Snape felt vaguely ill...he could tell this was going to end badly. "Who? Do I know him?"

"He's sitting right next to you, Harry."

It was almost comical. Harry glanced at Snape and then away and then back again...and the all of the colour drained from his face. He shook his head frantically.

"No." He said. "No, no, no, no, noooo."

"You flatter me Mr Potter." Snape said wryly, reminding himself that he had no right to be offended because he had been overly...harsh with the boy since he'd started Hogwarts.

"Please Professor Dumbledore!" Harry implored. "Snape hates me!"

"Professor Snape, Harry. And he doesn't, he's just...stricter than other teachers. Maybe now he is your Guardian, he might become more mellow."

"I don't want him to be my guardian!" Harry protested.

"I apologise Harry, but it is the law due to your parents will. It was what they wanted." Dumbledore looked at him softly. "I believe Professor Snape will take better care of you than your Uncle."

Harry was silent. He realised Dumbledore was probably right, because his uncle really hated him and at least if Snape tried to hurt him or lock him up, Dumbledore would find out. And at least Snape wouldn't call him a freak and hate him for his magic. But still he hated Snape.

"Please?"

"I am sorry Harry, it cannot be changed. As your head teacher I am hoping you will be mature about this and treat your professor and as it happens godfather, with the respect he deserves. Can you do that Harry?"

"I suppose," Harry said begrudgingly. "But please don't let him be nasty to me."

"He won't, will you Severus?"

"No. I will not be nasty." Snape said dryly, wondering what he'd gotten himself in to.

"Very well," Dumbledore smiled. "Brilliant. I shall allow you both to leave now, and enjoy the weekend."

"Thank you sir." Harry said, heading straight for the door without a backwards glance. Dumbledore raised his eyebrows at Snape who sighed and quickly followed the boy.

"Potter!" he called out as Harry reached the end of the corridor. The boy sighed and stopped, turning to look at Snape.

"Yes?" He asked, almost rudely. "Sir."

"Meet me in my office directly after dinner." Snape said.

Harry stared at him.

"We have things to discuss." Snape told him. "If you aren't there Mr Potter, I will be most dis...pleased."

Harry nodded and then turned and left, hurrying up to the Gryffindor common room to tell his friends the drastically bad twist of fate that had befallen him.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter three**

"You're kidding," Ron said, gaping at Harry, his face going red with astonishment.

"Unfortunately not," Harry sighed into his hands. "It's really happening. Snape is my Godfather."

"What I don't get is why he's agreed…he HATES you!"

"I know." Harry muttered. "But it's not like it was his decision, it's just what my parents put in their will."

"Then maybe it won't be so bad," Hermione said, shutting her book, and squeezing Harry's hand. Look, it your parents wanted him to be your Godfather if anything happened, then that must mean that they were close to him and that they liked and trusted him enough to entrust their son to him."

"Hermione, my parents died ten years ago. Ten years is a long time, time enough for someone to change into an evil, cranky old bat." Harry sighed.

"Oh, god." Ron said. "My dad's here. See Harry, it could be worse. You could be me."

A cheerful looking redheaded man had made his way over to them, and was beaming at Harry in a slightly scary way.

"Hello, Harry!" He said. "I'm Mr Weasley!"

He held out his hand and Harry shook it uncertainly. Ron rolled his eyes.

"Harry?"

"Yes, uh, sir?"

"You live with muggles don't you?" Mr Weasley asked enthusiastically. Any other time the question would have been easy to answer…but things were suddenly complicated.

"Uh…well…you see…"

"Dad!" Ron almost shouted. "Harry's aunt died yesterday, ssh."

Ron's dad look mortified, which was really quite comical. Harry wanted to tell him that he didn't mind that much but he didn't want to sound heartless, or like a sad little reject whose family hadn't wanted him and still didn't.

"Oh…Harry, I'm t..t..terribly sorry! Please…"

"Dad, can we just go?" Ron asked, for once ready to accept a punishment, just to stop his dad embarrassing him more.

"Yes. Yes, we can. You were incredibly foolish, yes, let's deal with that. Come on, Ronald." His dad coughed and tried to pretend that he hadn't just made a terrible faux pas. Ron stood up with a face like he was on his way to hell.

"Mr Weasley, you do uh know that it was my idea, and not Ron's…to go to the bathroom with the troll I mean…"

"I'm sure it was." Mr Weasley said. "However, Ronald made the decision to come with you. He could have went and told a teacher, or refused to let you go. He made his decision and it is that decision that I'll punish him for, regardless of whose idea it was." With that, Mr Weasley took Ron by the arm and guided his away.

Harry sank back against the sofa and looked at Hermione, slightly fearfully.

"You…you don't think that Snape will…you know."

"What?" Hermione asked, looking at him and raising an eyebrow.

"Well like if I did something wrong do you think he'd punish me?" Harry didn't have much experience with punishment aside from being locked in a cupboard and starved, and he doubted Snape would do either because it would be a bit obvious if he suddenly vanished or didn't eat anything.

"I don't know Harry." Hermione said. "It depends on what he wants, really. If he wants to be a parent figure to you then yes he probably would. But if he's just your Godfather by law and wants to keep his distance then no he wouldn't."

"I hope he wants to keep his distance," Harry muttered. Hermione looked at him, her brown eyes thoughtful.

"It would be nice though, if he did want to care for you, wouldn't it?" She said softly.

"Hermione…"

"Harry, I know. I know it can't have been easy living with your family when they didn't want you, especially because they treated you so badly. But that doesn't mean you shouldn't ever have someone to look after you."

"It's _Snape._" Harry said. "All he cares about is potions and taking points from us."

Hermione sighed and rested her head on his shoulder.

"Well, you'll find out what his intentions are after dinner."

"Yeah." Harry said. "I'll be glad when it's over, when I've been rejected again."

Hermione walked with Harry to the dungeons after dinner. Ron didn't want to come, he was in an awful mood because Fred and George had been mercilessly teasing him all dinner. Harry had eaten even less than usual – which was saying something – because he'd been so nervous. And he didn't even know what he was nervous about – he hated Snape so it wouldn't matter when Snape told him that they were just going to carry on as normal, hating one another. That suited him just fine.

"Good luck," Hermione said, throwing her arms around Harry. "Just stay calm, whatever happens. Don't be rude."

"Okay," Harry breathed, and knocked quietly.

"Enter," came Snape's deep voice from within. "Potter that is. Granger, go away."

"Bye," she whispered, squeezing his hand and walking off. Harry swallowed and entered.

"You're almost late, Potter." Snape said from behind his desk. Harry felt repulsed by the jars of dead animals around the walls…it was a most unpleasant, dark, horrible place. Perfect for Snape…"Come." Snape said, standing up. Confused Harry followed Snape over to the wall. The Professor took out his wand, waved it in a pattern…and to Harry's amazement, the wall slid upwards, revealing a much more inviting scene that the dank and scary office.

There were two large blue fabric sofas sat in front of a lit fire, a small oak coffee table between them with a teapot and cups on it. The room was well lit, and there were paintings on the wall, and carpet, not stone flags, on the floor. The walls had been plastered and wallpapered pale blue – in fact apart from the lack of windows there was no indication that the room was in a dungeon. At the far end of the room there were four doors in a line, which Harry assumed led to other rooms in Snape's underground home.

"Sit." Snape ordered, pointing at one of the sofas. Harry walked over to it and sat down, feeling incredibly awkward as Snape sat opposite him. It was just too weird that he was in his most hated Professor's living room about to talk about their future…ack.

"Are you hungry, Potter?" Snape asked, his dark eyes scrutinising the boy. _He's very thin…and all he ate for dinner was two potatoes. _

"Not really, sir." Harry said. He was too nervous to be hungry…and it was an odd question…what did that have to do with the whole godfather issue. Snape glared at him for a moment and then stood, and went through one of the doors, leaving Harry confused. Snape was back in a moment, a banana in his hand, which he thrust at Harry.

"You will eat this." Snape said.

"But…"

"No." Snape cut across him. "You did not eat a sufficient dinner. Therefore you shall eat this banana, because you are already too thin. If you do not eat it yourself, I WILL make you."

Harry sighed and peeled the banana. He ate it awkwardly, with Snape watching him every second like he thought he was going to start hiding bits around the room or something. When he was done, Snape waved his hand and the banana skin vanished. Snape cleared his throat.

"My first intention," Snape said as he began to pour out too cups of tea –that was weird, Snape drank tea? – "Is to get you eating a normal amount of food. You only ate half of your breakfast, you didn't eat lunch and you ate two potatoes for dinner. You are far too underweight to be healthy, and I intended to fix that. You shall therefore eat what food appears on your plate at mealtimes. You _will _eat all of it or I will make you. In front of your friends and everyone else. Understood?"

"Yes sir," Harry sighed. It wasn't his fault he got full quickly…it was due to a lifetime of eating scraps. "But, sir, I feel sick if I eat too much."

"Yes, Potter." Snape said. "I am not an imbecile. I know how starved children react to food, which is why I will gradually increase your portion sizes."

"Um. Okay." Harry said. "Sir." Snape handed him one of the cups of tea and he took it, still feeling freaked out by the situation. He was in Snape's living room, where he had eaten a banana, been put on an eating plan, and had been handed a cup of tea. Maybe he was dreaming and would wake up soon and things would be back to normal.

"My second intention centres on your habit of getting into trouble. I am now your guardian, Potter, and that means that you will not be running around school causing trouble and making it look like I can't control you. For example, you will not go to girls bathrooms to rescue your friend from a troll, and then allow her to lie about it." Snape said, fixing Harry with a glare. Harry coughed and drank some tea, blushing. "You will follow the rules. Most importantly, I do not want you out of your dormitory after lights out. I am not convinced that what happened with the troll was an accident, and I do not want you…complicating things by wandering around when you shouldn't be. Understood?"

"Yes sir." Harry mumbled. God, who did Snape think he was? A toddler who got out of bed and ran around after bedtime.

"If you take it upon yourself to break the rules, Mr Potter, you may well find yourself over my knee for a reminder."

Harry spluttered on his tea. When he'd asked Hermione if she thought Snape would punish him, he'd been thinking more along the lines of detention or lines…not….not…spanking! He knew Ron had been spanked that very day, but that was different, it was his dad. Not Snape!

"Mr Potter, please try not to choke."

"But, sir!" Harry protested, blushing furiously now. "I'm too old!"

"No you are not." Snape raised an eyebrow. "You are eleven…that is not too old for a spanking. Thus if you earn one, you shall receive one."

"But can't you just ignore me?" Harry whined.

"Excuse me?" Snape looked confused.

"Well, why do you have to…like…make me follow rules and things. You could just pretend that it was never in the will. Things could just stay normal." Harry muttered.

"Potter, I know that this situation is hardly ideal for either of us, and that we haven't had the best of starts. However, I was very close to your mother and as such I feel bound to honour her decision in making me your godfather. Maybe we can try to get along." Snape looked a little sour at that last sentence.

"Uh…right." Harry said. "Can I, uh, go?"

"May you." Snape corrected snarkily.

"May I go please?" Harry said, fighting against the urge to roll his eyes.

"You may," Snape said. "Please try to stay out of trouble between now and tomorrow."

"Yes, sir." Harry said through gritted teeth as he stood up and headed for the door panel wall thing.

"Potter?" Snape called out just before the boy left. Harry turned, with a heavy sigh. "Remember to eat everything on your plate tomorrow morning."

Harry nodded and left, his head spinning and confused. He still wasn't sure what was going on…except that Snape wanted him to eat. And follow the rules. And that Snape actually had sofas that were blue. Weird.


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER FOUR**

**Hey guys, thanks for reading **** and thankyou to all of my reviewers because you are all lovely, lovely people and the reviews make me want to continue. To the people saying my Snape is too stiff – I apologise. I wanted to make it a realistic softening of feeling, not an immediate one. He's nicer in this chapter ;) Also, where stuff follows canonically to the book, I will put a brief synopsis of what happens in brackets as I doubt you guys want me to retype the book **

**Happy reading**

**xoxox**

Harry had gone up to his dormitory the moment he arrived back from his meeting with Snape – he hadn't wanted to discuss what had happened with his friends, mainly because he didn't understand it himself. He tried to pick it apart in his head – everything that Snape had said and done – but he still wasn't sure where he stood. Snape wanted him to eat, which made it sound like he cared, but then he'd said he only wanted Harry to behave so he looked in control, so maybe that was why he wanted Harry to eat – so he'd look good to the other professors. Eventually Harry had fallen asleep with the thoughts buzzing around his head and had a rather disturbing dream of Snape having a bedroom with a pink bed, to go along with his blue sofas.

In the Great Hall the next morning, when the rest of the food appeared in the middle of the table for people to choose from, on the plate in front of Harry there appeared two pieces of toast and two poached eggs, a cup of pumpkin juice appearing next to him. Hermione looked at it, confused – Ron hadn't noticed because he was already loading his plate up with bacon. She raised an eyebrow at him.

"Snape." He muttered…and she smiled. "It's not…like that." He said.

"What?" She asked innocently, picking up a banana.

"He's just doing it to look good." Harry said quietly. "He wishes he wasn't saddled with me, too. He just wants me to stay out of trouble so he just looks good."

"But Harry…"

"Hermione, drop it." Harry said as he began to eat. He looked so tense that she did, resolving to bring it up later when he was less stressed.

"We have to write Snape's essay today," Ron said suddenly, pausing in his scoffing. "If we don't he will murder us. It's due first thing on Monday."

"I've already done it." Hermione said coldly.

"Well Harry and I will do it then and you can help us." Ron said, shrugging.

"I can't," Harry grimaced. "Did you forget? It's the Quidditch match this afternoon."

"Oh yeah, mate! Your first game. You gotta win. That would annoy Snape," Ron smirked. Harry was growing full, and he still had one poached egg left…he didn't think he'd be able to eat it.

"Ron? You want my egg?" He said, quietly, just in case. Ron nodded happily and took it. Harry breathed a sigh of relief…until a moment later another poached egg appeared on his plate. Harry found his eyes drawn to the staff table…and Snape raised an eyebrow reproachfully at him, a look in his eye that said 'eat it or die'. So Harry ate the stupid egg.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooo

_(In case you are unaware, Chapter eleven from the book occurs here – where the trio think Snape curses Harry's broom, and then Harry catches the snitch with his mouth, and Hagrid lets on too much about Fluffy and Nicholas Flamel) _

"WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?" Thundered Snape the moment Harry entered their quarters. It was the evening now, the Quidditch match was over and done with and amidst their suspicions that Snape had cursed Harry's broom and their wonderings about Nicholas Flamel, a note had arrived asking, non to politely, for Harry's presence in his new guardians quarters. Hermione and Ron were lurking outside with the instructions that if Harry didn't come out alive in half an hour they should get Dumbledore.

Snape was standing in front of the fire, arms folded across his chest, his face livid with anger.

"Uh…um…when?"

"WHEN DO YOU THINK?"

"Uh…"

"You STOOD UP on your broom! Do you have ANY IDEA how difficult it would have been for us to prevent you from harm had you fallen?"

"I didn't fall…" Harry muttered.

"YOU COULD HAVE DONE. IT WAS INCREDIBLY FOOLISH AND DANGEROUS, POTTER!"

"Ha." Harry said. "You tried to knock me off my broom and suddenly I'm in the wrong because I caught the snitch. Ha."

"DON'T…what?"

"Hermione saw you trying to curse my broom." Harry said stubbornly. It was true. She had. And it was probably dangerous of him to point out that he knew Snape had tried to kill him…if Snape had tried to kill him in public, he would also do it in private with no qualms. Oh no.

"I did no such thing." Snape snapped, his eyes flashing furiously. "Potter I know we haven't got on well, but do you really think I'd try to kill you?"

"Hermione said that curses have eye contact, and that you were muttering…"

"Miss Granger is very intelligent yes. But why didn't you fall off your broom, if I was cursing it?" Snape asked, trying not to roll his eyes. Children were so silly sometimes.

"Uh…well…Dumbledore must have been doing a counter-curse." Harry guessed.

"Ah right. And what do you think would someone do if they were performing a counter-curse, Potter?"

"Uh…well…uh. I guess they might also maintain eye contact and mutter."

"Indeed, Potter." Snape smirked. "Sit down, Potter."

"Are you going to kill me?" Harry asked, only half joking.

"No, that is not my intention. Sit."

Harry sat. Oh god, the blue sofa again.

"I do not know who was cursing your broom, but I do have my suspicions. However, I will not tell you them until I have confirmed. Dumbledore is aware that your broom was cursed – it was him that told me to perform the counter curse because his eyesight is not as keen as it used to be. We are doing what we can to fix the issue." Snape said.

"So somebody wants me dead?" Harry asked, worriedly.

"I thought you thought I did, Potter." Harry blushed. "Not necessarily dead. Although they may wish you harm. Which is why I must again reiterate the wish…no, the order, that you will stay in your dormitory after lights out. Do you understand me? Someone wishes you harm, and you must do your best to stay out of harms reach."

"Yes, sir." Harry replied…an oddly warm feeling blossoming in his stomach.

"Now, back to my main issue. I never thought you should be allowed on the Quidditch team at such a young age anyway – your stunt today has seriously made me consider using my power as your guardian to remove you from the team." Snape looked at Harry, anger evident in his black gaze.

"But…"

Snape held up a hand.

"Let me finish. I have no done so. But if I ever, ever, see such a hair-brained and dangerous stunt like that ever again, I will ensure you never fly again, let alone in a match. Am I understood?"

"But…it's Quidditch…" Harry protested. "You're supposed to do your best to get the snitch."

"Not if you are putting your life at risk." Snape growled. "You can whine and wheedle all you like, but it won't work on me. You will stay seated on you broom or you can kiss it goodbye."

"Fine." Harry snapped.

"_Sir." _Snape intoned.

"Fine, _sir." _Harry said grumpily.

"Now, shall we talk about my wishes to kill you?" Snape said drily, his fingers tapping against his leg as he reclined against the back about the sofa.

"Do we have to?" Harry sighed.

"Yes." Snape replied. "I cannot have my ward wandering around with his wand out, afraid that his guardian is about to kill him. Now, it is true that I was harsh to you these first two months of school. In short, the reason being this – your father and I had a bit of a falling out before he died, and your appearance and behaviour reminded me of him, and so I disliked you. I thought you were a pampered prince like him. As it happens, I was wrong and your relatives did anything but pamper you, and so Potter, I am sorry for judging you wrongly."

"That's okay sir," Harry said cheekily. "Everyone makes mistakes."

Snape glared at him – a clear 'don't push it' look.

"Anyway. Your mother and I were close and as such I am going to do what she wished and look after you and most definitely not try to kill you. We will be seeing a lot more of each other in the future, for one thing you will be staying with me in holidays, so we must find some middle ground whereby you do not think I am trying to kill you."

"I don't think that," Harry said quietly. "Not anymore. We were just…worried. And confused. Sorry."

"It is okay. Just this once. But now we draw a line under the bad feeling from the past, and try and move forwards. Understood?"

"Yes sir." Harry said, almost happily. It was actually starting to look like this guardianship might not be that dreadful after all.

"And if I catch you giving your food away again young man, I'll make you stand in the corner," Snape growled suddenly.

"Sorry." Harry said.

There was a knock at the door, and Snape waved his wand, so it opened, revealing Dumbledore, with a big smile on his face.

"Severus, my dear boy. I am so glad to discover Harry alive." The old man beamed and Severus turned one of the most evil looks ever seen on his ward.

"Why would he not be alive, Headmaster?" Snape inquired.

"I had two very worried children come to my office, sure that their dear little friend was dead at your hands. I see everything is fine. I reassured them, Severus, that while you may be a scary bat who lives in the dungeons you have been out of the habit of killing small children for many years." Harry giggled…and received a look like a thunder cloud from Snape.

"Potter, you'd better go and write my essay," Snape said. "I know you haven't written it yet. And if I don't receive it tomorrow, you will be a very sorry little boy."

"Oh..uh…well I'll just go and _finish _it." Harry said awkwardly, standing and walking to the door. "Thank you for making sure I was alive, Professor Dumbledore."

"You are most welcome, dear boy," smiled the old man, patting Harry's shoulder. Harry turned to leave but stopped and turned around.

"Night Professor Snape!" He said, with a cheeky grin.

"Goodnight…Harry." Snape said with a nod.

Later, when he was lying in bed, Harry smiled contentedly to himself. The previous night, he had been so confused and now he knew exactly where he had stood. And, for the first time, Snape had called him Harry and not Potter.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER FIVE**

**Please bear in mind this won't follow the books exactly, as it is my own story so I have changed stuff.**

**Enjoy your read and thanks for the reviews. **

Things were going well. It had been two weeks since Harry received the potentially cataclysmic news that Snape would be taking care of him. Harry had, for once, managed to stay out of any kind of trouble for an extended period of time – mainly because Snape's threat was hanging over him – and he'd even been eating all the food that appeared on his plate. Mainly, again, because he didn't want Snape to carry out his threat of making him in front of everybody.

However, because Harry was an eleven year old boy and his friends and him had overwhelming curiosities burning in them – mainly to do with what Fluffy was guarding and who exactly Nicholas Flamel was. They had scoured the library for books, but there were only so many they could skim read while keeping up with their school work. Hermione had finally come up with the idea that he may have been an author – she said she recognised the name in conjunction to a book – so they searched the entire F section for his name, their search yielding nothing.

They were slumped in the library one Friday evening, defeated, when Ron jerked up, an 'of course' look on his face. He glanced around to make sure Madame Pince was nowhere nearby and leaned in to whisper to his friends.

"The _restricted section." _He hissed.

Hermione shook her head, biting her lip.

"Seems unlikely." She said. "Anyway we aren't allowed."

"How does it?" Ron said. "Clearly whoever he is a secret, else there wouldn't be a savage beast guarding something in this castle and Hagrid wouldn't have been so touchy."

"He's got a point!" Harry said. And so, with the twisted logic of three very fed up and curious eleven year olds, they managed to convince one another that there must be some very vital information on Nicholas Flamel in the restricted section of the library.

"But it's just how to get in there." Hermione mused. "We won't get permission off any of the teachers. We're too young…you could ask Snape…"

"Ha!" Harry smirked. "You know as well as I do that would go down like a lead balloon!"

"Mmm I guess."

"So, we sneak in at night." Ron said, shrugging. "Fred and George sneak around at night all the time and never get caught."

"But Ronald it's against the rules…" Hermione said, but it was obvious that her raging curiosity was starting to take precedence over her rule abiding nature.

"We snuck out before and didn't get caught." Ron said.

"We almost got mauled by a three headed dog." Hermione argued weakly.

"What do you think, mate?" Ron asked Harry. Harry had been silent, warring with himself. Snape had, in no uncertain terms, told him that he was not to go out of the common room at night. But then, Harry really, really wanted to know what was going on and he knew Snape wouldn't tell him – he'd been evasive after the broom incident and if he knew that Harry knew about Fluffy he'd be so angry. But then, part of Harry was still convinced, from so long being neglected, that Snape didn't really care about his safety. That he was just trying to look good. He tried to quash those feelings but he couldn't, and it was this more than anything that prompted him to look up and nod.

"Let's do it." He said. "Let's do it tonight."

"Look…" Hermione looked worried.

"Hermione you don't have to come." Harry said. "Two of us can do it."

Hermione nibbled anxiously on her lip and then shook her head.

"No." She said delicately. "We're in this together."

Which is how they found themselves in the restricted section of the library at midnight, no light but a lantern glimmering as they searched the shelves for 'F' and any other books that looked like they might contain helpful information. They had waited and watched until Madame Pince had gone, hidden in a small gap between the wall and the window that was too small for anyone bigger to have fitted into – although it was cramped and uncomfortable. Their search had only just begun when they heard a miow…Harry turned his blood turning to ice in his veins.

"Mrs Norris." He hissed. Hermione extinguished the lamp with her wand and hearts racing, the trio moved to the wall by the door. Harry motioned for them to press up against the wall, and as he had hoped when Filch entered after his evil demon kitty, he walked straight past them towards the restricted section. The trio tiptoed out and then they ran for it…they came to a sort of cross roads in the corridors – three corridors leading different ways.

And then, another sound that made their blood turn cold and their hearts beat. Footsteps. They could hear Filch coming the way they had come, but in one of the three corridors there were footsteps. But which?

"Look…" Harry said. "We split up. One corridor each. The other two get back to the common room and get in bed. If only one of us gets caught it' better than three, right? We'll lose less points by far."

The other two nodded.

"Say we were sleep walking or something, yeah?" Ron said. The trio nodded to one another, before picking a corridor and hurrying down it – because Filch was clearly catching up.

Harry, with all the wretched luck in the world, had only made it a few paces down his corridor when he rocketed into the source of the footsteps – Quirrell. The normally timid man looked down at Harry with a very scary face.

"Potter." He said, smiling scarily, his eyes demonic. "How strange to find you here."

"Sorry, sir." Harry said, trying to stay calm._ Where is my wand? _"I was…sleepwalking."

"Indeed." Quirrell said, taking Harry's arm in a firm grip. Harry tried to pull away but failed. He was beginning to panic, he didn't know what was going on, and Quirrell was being weird. "Let us go and talk about this in a little quiet classroom…all…be…ourselves."

"Ow!" Harry protested. _Where was Snape when you needed him? He wanted me to stay safe – where is he now? _"You're hurting me!" His arm was hurting…but strangely his head had begun to pound as well, sharp pains that ricocheted through his skull.

"Be silent, Potter." Quirrell said as he began striding down the corridor with Harry in tow. Harry struggled against him, but his grip was too strong. They'd reached a classroom, and Quirrell had his other hand on the handle, when Harry's rash prayer was answered.

"May I ask, Professor, why you are physically harming my godson?" Came the low, angry tones of Professor Snape. Never in his life had Harry been so glad to hear that voice, especially in the angry tone.

"He w…was o…o…out of b…b…bed!" Quirrell stuttered, releasing Harry's arm abruptly. Harry gasped as the blood flowed painfully back into his arm. Eyes boring into Quirrell's, Snape stretched out one of his arms, snagged the back of Harry's t-shirt and pulled him close to him, using his arm to manoeuvre the small boy behind him.

"I know what game you're playing." Snape said, in a low tone. "It will not work. There are stronger people here than you, and when I convince Dumbledore that I am right, you _will _be gone. I care very little about the Philosopher's Stone – I know you will not get it – but if you _ever _and I mean ever, touch my godson again I _will _kill you." There was a tense moment of silence, and then Snape turned and billowed off down the corridor, pushing Harry in front of him with a surprisingly gentle hand.

Harry's brain was telling him that going with Snape was a bad idea because Snape would go mental, but what had just happened had frightened him so much he just wanted to be safe…and he felt safe with Snape. Especially after that threat…he'd called him his godson…which was nice. Harry was shaking so much and he felt like he was going to throw up from the fear. It had been like his teacher was possessed, until Snape appeared and he went back to his old, timid and stuttering self. Snape clearly was walking towards the dungeons instead of taking Harry back to his dormitory but Harry was so numb with fear he didn't protest.

When they got into Snape's living room – Snape pressed Harry down onto one of the blue sofas, told the boy to stay and vanished. Harry shook. Snape returned, arms full. First, he wrapped a thick blanket around Harry, and then he handed him a potion vial.

"Drink." Snape said stiffly. Harry drank, and once he was done, the vial was replaced by a cup of cocoa. As he drank the warm liquid, the potion began to relax his muscles so that his shaking stopped and the warmth of the drink and blanket removed the nauseas feeling. As the fear faded away, Harry looked into the furious black eyes of Snape.

"I…I'm in trouble, aren't I?" Harry said, yawning.

"Indeed, Mr Potter. Indeed, you are. Are you feeling alright now?" The man's face was carved out of stone.

"I am thanks." Harry said, putting the cup down. "Thanks for saving me. Quirrell was being weird."

"Which is why I TOLD you not to leave the common room after hours." Snape growled, his anger barely concealed. He pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. "We will talk about this in the morning. For now, we both need to get some sleep."

"Will…will you please walk back with me?" Harry said nervously. "I'm scared."

"You won't be sleeping in your dormitory tonight as I cannot trust you to stay put. Come with me."

Snape led Harry into a small, pale blue room with a bed in the corner. He got some pyjamas from somewhere – Harry was too tired to notice, and left, instructing Harry to change. Harry changed sleepily and obediently used Snape's nice shiny bathroom, before going back to the bedroom.

"Please don't hate me." Harry mumbled, his eyes drooping.

"I do not hate you, Harry." Snape said. "Now get into bed."

"Quirrell can't get in here can he?" Harry asked.

"No. You are safe from him, I promise." Snape said, pushing Harry down onto the bed. Harry lay down and pulled the covers up over him. "We will talk more in the morning."

"I'm sorry…" Harry mumbled sleepily.

"I'm sure you are." Snape said, firmly pulling the covers around the boy. "Goodnight."

"'Night…"

Snape checked on the boy when he awoke at 3am for the bathroom– just to make sure he was still there, he told himself – but really it was just to make sure he was okay, and not having a nightmare. The little devil was peacefully asleep looking like an innocent little cherub…shaking his head, Snape went back to his room, pushing his anger at the boys complete disregard for his safety away because he knew if he didn't get enough sleep he'd be an anger machine the next day and actually might go and kill Quirrell for attempting to harm Harry.


End file.
